This Is Your Life!
by TheTributeGleekWitchess
Summary: Noah's gone, Daddy's gone, Kurt's gone, Blaine's gone, Finn's gone, Santana's gone.. They're all gone, and you're all alone, sitting on the floor and crying yourself to sleep. It's all just... gone.


**Rewrite of 'Drowning In Your 'Life'.' I'm not stealing this idea.**

**I just thought you all deserved something better than the crap I gave you last year.**

**It's not as long as I'd like, but I really need this out of the way before I start continuing 'Last Chance Dance' and starting a New HP story. (:**

* * *

><p><em>- Rachel Barbra Berry -<em>

It's not as easy any more.  
>You can't wake up in the morning's with that same old show smile on your face.<br>It's just too dang hard…  
>Why?<p>

She's _blonde_, she's _beautiful_, she's _everything you're __**not**_.  
>She's Quinn Fabray.<br>The girl who stole your _leads_, your _captain spot_, your _spotlight_…  
>The <em>boy<em>.

_Finn. _She stole _Finn.  
><em>But he went willingly; does it still count as stealing?  
>But <em>Finn, <em>sweet, innocent Finn…  
>Turns out he wasn't so sweet after all.<br>He's on Quinn's side.

Santana-Freaking-Lopez.  
>She was on <em>your <em>side.  
>She <em>built <em>you up _and _tore you _down_.  
>She's back on <em>Quinn's <em>side now.

Kurt.  
>Possibly the one person(apart from his boyfriend) who would be on <em>your <em>side.  
>But he's <em>happy <em>at Dalton.  
>You don't bother him.<br>It's not fair on him. He deserves to be _happy_.

Brittany.  
><em>Sweet. Innocent. Naïve.<br>_You can't blame her for any of what's happened.  
>You can't be angry at her for taking what was keeping you together.<br>It's _Brittany _after all.

Sam_uel_.  
>He's alone.<br>Santana left him for Brittany.  
>Brittany is with Artie, and won't leave him.<br>Sam_uel_ is alone.

Mercedes _'Diva' _Jones.  
>She's not a diva.<br>Instead, a _bitch._  
>Whether Kurt knows it or not.<br>Score 3 for _Quinn_!

Artie.

You never really got to know Artie.  
>He doesn't really want to get to know you, either.<br>But he rolls over your foot every _single _day.  
>You did <em>something <em>wrong there.

Tina…  
><em>Oh<em>, Tina.  
>Tina's an observer, always has been..<br>She wishes you to understand why she doesn't _help _you with her eyes.  
>You <em>don't<em> understand.

Mich_ael_.  
>Too busy with Tina to help you.<br>But, like Tina, he wants you to understand _why_.  
>And again;<br>You _don't_ understand.

Lauren.  
>She <em>left <em>Glee.  
>Not that you <em>care<em>.  
>Because you <em>don't<em>, you really _don't_.  
>But you<em> miss <em>her…

Blaine.  
>Ever since that <em>drunken <em>kiss, you two have been friends.  
>You tell each other everything.<br>But you _can't _confide in him with this…  
>It's too much for the Warbler.<p>

_Noah Puckerman.  
><em>Perhaps the one person who would really understand.  
>Your only <em>true <em>friend.  
>But he <em>left <em>too.  
><em>People <em>_**always **__leave._

You miss him.  
><em>So much.<br>_Your Daddy was coming to get _you_.  
>There was an accident…<p>

And now your Dad blames _you_.  
>You <em>blame <em>yourself as well.  
>So, when Dad hits you…<br>You _don't_ mind all that much.

What the hell _happened_?  
>You were <em>strong.<br>_You were going to be a _Broadway _star.  
>You were… <em>happy.<em>

Oh. Right.  
><em>Everything <em>happened.  
>Life <em>happened<em>.  
>Life <em>really <em>sucks lately.

Noah _left.  
><em>Glee fell _apart.  
><em>They _broke _you.  
>You were oh-so <em>vulnerable<em>.

You decide you want to blend in.  
>It's all too much.<br>That showface is breaking you even further.  
>You just want it to <em>end<em>.

You stop wearing _sweaters.  
><em>You stop wearing _skirts_.  
>No more <em>headbands<em>.  
>No more <em>loafers<em>.

You start wearing _tanks_.  
>You start wearing <em>jeans<em>.  
>Now, it's <em>hairties<em>.  
>Now, it's <em>converses.<em>

Unbelievably, it gets _worse_.  
>Karofsky, with a cruel sneer, throws a cup of <em>coffee <em>at you.  
>Azimo, Ricky and <em>Finn <em>take great pleasure in throwing a slushie cup at you _each_.  
><em>One <em>coffee cup a day. _Three _slushie facials a _day_.

_Santana _and _Quinn _take to yelling insults at you _every _minute of the day.  
><em>Shuester <em>tells you that _you _aren't being a _team _player.  
>And that cruel <em>smirk <em>on Mercedes' face breaks you a little more.  
>Tina and Mike's <em>eyes <em>are slicing through you.

One night, after your Dad passes out,  
>You find some of <em>Noah<em>'s hoodies in the back of your wardrobe.  
>Your eyes fill with <em>tears <em>as you take in the smell of one hoodie.  
>It smells <em>so <em>much like Noah.

It's almost _home_.  
>You wear them. Every day.<br>Mostly to hide the blooming bruises appearing on your body.  
>But also, because they make you feel as if you're not <em>alone<em>.

You go a _whole _day without being called 'Manhands' or 'RuPaul'.  
>And you realise that that is the <em>best <em>day.  
>You fall into a <em>sweet <em>routine.  
>It feels like it lasts <em>years<em>, but in reality, it's only a _few _weeks.

After your little _fantasy _trip, school gets _worse_.  
>Home gets <em>worse.<br>_Tina starts _crying _in Glee.  
>Glee becomes <em>unbearable.<em>

"_Get. Out."_

You're kicked out from your _own _home.  
>You realise then you have <em>nowhere <em>to go.  
>As you walk, <em>stumble<em>, down the street.  
>Your ringtone <em>sounds.<em>

"Rachel Berry, speaking."

"_Rae."_

It's only _one _word, but it breaks you.

"Noah?"

"_Hey…"_

You blink. Is that _all _he has to say?

"Is that all you have to say? After six months, Noah?"

"_I didn't know what else to say,"_

Honesty. You'd forgotten what honesty was.

"I miss you."

"_Ditto._"

The line goes quiet apart from you and Noah's breathing.  
>It's in <em>sync<em>.

"I need you,"

The words startle you.  
>You didn't even know you were saying them.<br>For a moment, Noah goes completely silent.  
>You feel like slapping yourself for saying such a thing.<p>

"_What happened?"_

His tone startles you.  
>He sounds <em>angry.<br>Furious_, actually.

"Everything."

It comes out as a sob, and you fall into the gutter.  
>How pathetic.<p>

"_Start from the start, yeah?"_

"I'm hurting, Noah. So, so, much."

"_Rach, please… Tell me."_

"It all just fell apart, Noah. My Daddy was in a car crash and my Dad? My D-Dad blames m-me. He hits me! I - What did I do _wrong_, Noah? Everyone hates me! I haven't, Noah, I haven't even sung in Glee club for months! Finn left me, Kurt's gone, Blaine doesn't understand, you j-just left…"

It _all _comes out.  
>Right in <em>that <em>gutter.  
>You're finally telling someone.<br>It feels so _good_.

"_What? Rae, I…"_

Noah stays silent for several moments, but you don't push him.  
>You're too busy <em>crying.<em>

"_You're moving in,"_

Noah's voice is small, but firm.  
>It takes you a few seconds to process the words.<p>

"W-What do you mean?"

"_We're coming back tomorrow, Rae. That's why I fuckin' called. I didn't expect this. But you're-you're movin' in, dammit."_

A sob _breaks _free, but now you're crying tears of gratitude.

"Thank you, Noah."

"_Don't mention it, Rae."_

Noah says a few more words, and you 'hmm' in the right places.  
>He hangs up after a minute, promising that he'll see you tomorrow.<br>It's then that it hits you.  
>You have <em>nowhere <em>to go now.

Before you have a chance to stand up, the phone rings again.  
>You sigh, but don't sound all too agitated.<p>

"Rachel Berry,"

"_It's Mike."_

"Michael."

Looks like Noah texted Michael and explained the situation to him.  
>And now Michael is doing his good deed for the year.<br>May as well take advantage of it, eh?  
>You pause, wondering how to continue.<p>

"_Puck told me,"_

"I know he did."

"_I won't ask,"_

Mike promises, and you have no reason not to trust the quiet boy.  
>He's never mislead you before.<p>

"You could."

"_I won't. Rach, where are you?"_

"Outside the Hudmels."

You surprise yourself with your answer.  
>You hadn't quite registered you had arrived at the Hudmels house.<br>Finn could be watching you right now…  
>You grimace at the thought.<p>

"_I'll be there in five,"_

Mike says goodbye, and you return the sentiment.  
>You let out a yawn, and lay down on the grass.<br>Kurt shouldn't be home, at least.  
>You've never been all that lucky, though.<p>

"Rach?"

Kurt slowly sits beside you, fretting over his leaf green jeans.

"Kurt,"

"What are you doing?"

"Lying down, I thought it was quite obvious."

You glance up to see Kurt blushing lightly.

"I mean, why aren't you in bed? At your house."

"I went for a walk,"

You wish you could tell Kurt the truth, you really do.  
>But he wouldn't understand.<br>Kurt's been lucky.  
>His Dad never kicked him out after his Mom died.<p>

"Don't lie to me."

A car pulls up and you feel Mike's eyes on you.

"Oh look, my ride is here."

You announce numbly, sitting up and refusing to look at Kurt.

"Hey, Kurt."

Mike winds down the window and grins at Kurt, though Rachel sees that he's faking it.

"Mike…"

"C'mon, Rachel. We better get you home, we need you at your best for Glee!"

You rush to the other side of the car and sit beside Mike, who gives your hand a slight squeeze.

"Make sure she gets some sleep,"

Kurt says warily, standing up.

"'Course."

You wave at Kurt, who simply smiles back.

"Bye Kurt,"

"Bye Rach,"

And that's that.

* * *

><p>Mike doesn't ask about anything.<br>You're highly grateful.

In the morning, Tina doesn't ask a single thing.  
>You remember why you once saw these two as <em>friends<em>.

They don't leave your side the whole day.  
>When Finn and Azimo come along with two slushie cups, Mike yells at them until they scurry away.<br>When Karofsky turns up with a coffee cup, Tina screams at him and surprisingly, Brittany stomps on his foot as he walks away.  
>Brittany and by extension, Santana, join your little group.<p>

Glee rolls around, and for once, you aren't dreading it.  
>Tina and Brittany babble about the latest song from Taio Cruz, while you, Santana and Mike chat about anything.<br>Quinn walks in and makes a point of ignoring the two cheerleaders, and Finn follows her lead like the good little puppy he is.

Mr Shue strolls in, late as usual and shuffles his pile of sheet music.  
>He glances around the room, and smiles at Quinn as she stands up, ready to take her solo.<p>

"Not today, Q. This song is a little out of your range,"

Quinn sits down in a huff, and glares at Mr Shue.  
>You wonder if that's how you were like back in Sophomore year.<br>Mike glances at you at the same time as Mr Shue.  
>It's then that it all clicks.<p>

"No."

It's not you who speaks, but Santana.

"No. You let the Ice Queen take her leads, her solos and her fucking soul, you don't get to pretend you notice _now_."

Mike speaks, and you're a little surprised at his language.

"You stole her sunshine,"

Brittany explains, seriously.

"_We_ took away the stars in her eyes."

Tina directs this at everyone, including herself.

"You don't get to notice me now,"

You whisper, so grateful for the four people standing up for you.

"Not after everything that's happened, you don't get to do this."

You shake your head lightly, and Mr Shue mirrors you.

"I wanted you to be a team player,"

He attempts, but Tina shuts him down.

"No. She would've walked through fire for us, and you're saying she wasn't being a team _player_?"

Tina says as she strides up to Mr Shue and slaps him, right on the cheek.

"Hijo de puta."

Santana spits, taking a spot next to Tina.

"Tú se lo rompió, que le rompió."

She adds, glaring.

"I thought you were a nice person,"

Brittany adds in her two cents as she skips up to Santana, and the two join hands.

"I thought you all were, but I was wrong."

Brittany's voice is small, vulnerable and you feel horrible for those tears in her eyes.

"It ends now. Nobody will hurt Rachel Berry."

Mike grabs your hand and you two join the four up the front of the room.  
>It's silent for a moment as Finn's smile falls and Quinn's glare intensifies.<p>

"Not on my watch,"

A voice from behind interjects and everyone turns to him.

Noah Puckerman frowns at everyone, save the six up front.

"I trusted you with her and you fucking broke her, you dicks. I hope you are all fucking happy, you broke the unbreakable girl."

Noah strides over to you.  
>You feel that warm feeling inside as he takes you in his arms.<p>

"No more, Rach. I promise you, _we _promise you."

You hear six murmurs of agreement behind you, and you drag all of them into a hug.  
>This, these people…<br>They are your family.  
>They are the ones to trust.<p>

Kurt and Blaine, too.

"I love you,"

Noah whispers in your ear.  
>You feel your eyes tear up.<p>

"I love you too."

"Awh, I love you too, Rae!"

Santana ruins the moment, but you and Noah are too busy laughing at the Latina to care.

You finally belong _somewhere_.  
>That's all you <em>ever <em>wanted.

* * *

><p><strong>Figure out what Santana's Spanish angry outburst meant. ~<strong>


End file.
